“There are many wonderful places in the world. My favourite is on the back of my horse”
I have no doubt in my mind that the end of my marriage began when Winnie arrived. I had gone from having no hobbies, nothing that took my time away, to spending any time that I wasn’t at work or with my kids out with Winnie. Whether that be grooming her, riding, poo picking, cleaning tack or just sitting out there talking to her.
I probably went into overdrive a bit when she arrived. I was out there every morning and evening, sometimes until the sun went down.
For the first 3 years of our relationship I had been at his disposal. At home with dinner cooked most evenings. I didn’t go out with friends and if I did I always made sure it was when he was on nights so that I was always at home for him. He refused to partake in any activities preferring to stay in front of the TV. Whether that be going to watch the rugby at Buckingham or going to a local show.
I think I finally saw the real person when Winnie arrived. He became obsessed with making me feel bad about riding and not spending time with him. He asked me to come inside at a reasonable time so that we could spend time together and feeling bad for not being there I agreed. That first day I walked into the house at 6pm. Proud of myself for not being selfish and doing as he had asked. No sooner had I sat down he got up claiming he was going to bed.
WHAT THE FUCK?? Was he being serious?
“Sod this” I thought. If he wanted to act like a child, then he could do it alone. I refused to follow him.
Behaviour like this continued for months. Constant nagging (excuse the pun) at me being with the horses all the time. There were a few occasions when he would come out to the horses with me but would then sit there telling me what to do and how to do it.
I shit you not I once saw him turn his back on one of the horses and squat down. Trying to emulate Monty Roberts.
On another occasion, I was trying to Load Winnie to take her out with the bloodhounds. She was being a bit of a madam because Bailey was calling out to her and she wouldn’t load. She kept walking off the ramp to one side. I remember asking him to stand in her way and just wave my whip slightly. I knew this worked as I had done it before but no matter how many times I asked he felt he knew best and kept doing the complete opposite. Now, I hate people not listening, especially when I’m asking them to do something I know works. I tried explaining to him that as a fireman what he was doing would be like me telling him how to put a damn fire out. Long story short he stormed off and went to the fire station for the rest of the day and night. Luckily my mum was at home and Winnie was loaded within minutes and off I went.
He went on about moving away from the area, away from the horses, moving the schools again. And when I said I wouldn’t do it he would throw the biggest strop.
It got to the stage I dreaded him coming home. He was dead against Izzy getting Blue or us getting Casper.
He left not long after that. It’s been delightful since he left. I’ve had so much fun with the horses. I’ve met an amazing man who takes control of the yard and encourages me to ride whenever I want to. Bless him he has even started learning to ride. Apparently sweeping and the muck heap are his now. I go for a ride and the stables are mucked out ready.
I really have got a keeper!!
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